late spring, blooming

there is something spectacular about watching women bloom around other women. that kind of support, care, love and particular kind of (sometimes deliciously devious) laughter that women share with other women is so healing and powerful and ancient. I think we all get shy and it’s easy to forget how much we need that kind of energy. but we all really really do. especially those of us who used to be terribly shy and afraid of our bodies, our femininity, our strength and softness and all the lovely things about being girls that somehow along the way we get ashamed of- I have to keep reminding myself to celebrate more often the simple art of being.

and simultaneously celebrate boys too, because they are equally wonderful in their many ways. we all need each other, and kindness and warmth and community are food for all of us.

we went to this flower farm in Northern California this weekend on a trip to see my wonderful grandmother- she said you must go see the flowers and so we did as told and said flowers did not disappoint.
I found myself completely besotted with these glorious piles of rose-like, luscious white blossoms which seemed to be everywhere although maybe because most everything paled beside their exuberance. they were literally toppling over, squeezed petal to petal, thick and heavy and yet impossibly light, beside themselves with the sheer pleasure of being alive. they reminded me of so many wonderful women I’ve met and admired, women who spill over with life and joy and who have no need to apologize for either their thorns or how delicate their skin.

I have no idea what they are called, my horticultural knowledge is essentially nonexistent, and I wish I did, because I want to plant a whole field of them in my mind to remind myself how great it feels to open yourself to the world, and overflow.

I guess if don’t need to know what kind of flowers they are to figuratively plant them….

sending you love if you need it.

x a
p.s. sorry my last post was so weird. I was in a rough patch. I’m working on cultivating it now so good things can grow there. the best things often do.
p.p.s. I just got home from a pole-dancing class (girls only, no mirrors, it’s incredible) and have been cheering on other shy women like myself all night to embrace their bodies, as they are, and dance their hearts out. so that’s why I’m so fired up. it was silly fun. if you had told me five years ago that I’d be doing this, I would have gotten so uncomfortable and awkward and my hands would have done some strange spider move of their own accord to stop the conversation. now I just wonder what I was so scared of, and what took me so long.

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